Your glow

Otema Yirenkyi

My arms are weak. My hands are tired and
it’s a wonder how I’m able to write this.
My legs are weary from walking around-
From searching. I’m still gathering strength.
My sandals are tearing and the bow at the top tore off.
My eyes are almost red and bloodshot
and a kick at my feet or a push at the shoulder would force me to the ground.
But I have to write you this:

Last week I saw a house upon a hill
it was so peaceful. I wanted to get closer.
And claim some of the calmness it exuded but I couldn’t.
So I walked right on. It reminded me of you; Of the exterior you keep.
It reminded me of the you that the world sees
It reminded me of the you that is so calm.
But you know why I couldn’t get close?
I was afraid.
I was afraid the house would explode once I got too close.
I was afraid the roof would blow off and
the grass roots would pull out
I was afraid that the house could be you.
You know how you scream when you’re frustrated?
How you pull out your hair in exasperation?
In need of answers that never satisfy?
I hate seeing how you blow off when
you remember how cruel the world is
When sharp words scratch your shea buttered skin
I hate to see you curse the world and all that is in it
Because they fail to appreciate the beauty of your heart
I hate how I can never get close
When the world pushes you in a box with the keys tossed out

The world may not deserve your heart
The world might be blurred by the guilt and greed
But the world cannot touch you
The world may not feel the tenderness of your soul
And it cannot compare to your God given gift
The world does not have a hold on you
The world does not have a hold on you
You see, like Pam said, you’re a bowl of sunshine
A Venus to be beheld
A herald of your smile is an indication of joy, of happiness never felt
You touch without stretching forth
Because your genuineness easily reaches all.

When you’re stuck, and someone on the outside tells you
it’s gonna be ok, I know you hear it.
But it’s hard to believe. I understand exactly how that feels.
I also understand that you’re capable
You can dance in your sorrows and turn them to joy

You don’t understand! You are EVERYTHING.
You deserve as much happiness as the universe gives
Your heart is full of light. You are the sun on earth.
Your shimmer is inevitable
Just as the sun slowly fights the clouds to shine its rays,
The glow in your eyes pierces souls to appreciate your beauty
Don’t fight the world for space to glisten
You are a burst of light on a gloomy day

©Otema Yirenkyi, first published in ‘to grow in two bodies’.

Otema Yirenkyi is a soft-hearted writer, poet and aspiring computer engineer. Fun fact: her heart still jumps when bread pops out the toaster.